Category: Let's talk
OK, this is one of those blindness-issues topics. Do you let people get away with things you normally wouldn't put up with because the people mean well or you fear hurting their feelings? Sometimes I get the impression we let a lot of stuff go that others might not feel they have to put up with at all. For example, letting somebody help you when you don't need it, or letting them drag you around like a footstool, or that kind of thing. I'm sure others can come up with other examples, too, and I'm open to these.
No. When I don't need help, I say, no thank you, I can get on on my own. I let nobody help me except when I ask for it.
It depends on the circumstances and the person or people involved. I don't let friends or relatives get away with stuff because they deal with me often. But if it's a complete stranger whom I am not likely to see again, I will sometimes put up with stupid stuff. For example, I recently had to take a cab ride from a doctor appointment back to work. The driver barely spoke English, and when he got out of the cab and started pulling me toward the door of the building where I work, I just let him do it because I figured it would be overwith more quickly than if I tried to explain anything to him.
I do speak up in restaurants if the waiter/waitress says to my friends or whomever I am with, "What does she want?" and usually just state what I want without trying to embarrass the waiter/waitress. But sometimes my friends will say something like, "I don't know, why don't you ask her?"
Like I said, it often depends on the situation and even the mood I am in that particular day. I do hate to be grabbed by a stranger on the street and pulled along when they think they are being helpful. But I try to be polite as I pry their hand off my arm and explain why it could be dangerous both to them and to the blind person they grab when they do something like that.
Normally I don't I generally give old people a break like someone in there 70's. they grew up in a different period than most of us so they just don't know any better and trying to teach them isn't worth the headake. I use the "he wants" thing a lot and generally if someone does something like that it just takes one time of embarrassing them to set it right!
for me, it depends on the day. If someone;'s trying to help, sometimes I will let them, to teach them the right way of doing it incase they need to do it again. Other days, I am all no, I don't need your help. I'm never mean about it, because most of the time the people mean well. Now when it comes to people being ignorant and mean about things, I don't usually put up with that.
My friends know where they stand and what I will and will not tolerate
Ye but I won't let strangers help me unless i ask.
the problem arises when a person who is visually impaired makes a complete ass out of themselves by not handling a situation in a positive and diplomatic way. They need to firmly, but calmly, let another person know that they do not need assistance. On the same token, they need to also do the same if they do need assistance.
This is kind of a fl=ine line to walk sometimes. Luckily this hasn't happened to me, but I've herad of people who get cussed out or accused of being ungrateful when they're just being firm and diplomatic and not giving attitude at all.
Hm, this reminds me of this scene I saw at a subway stop about a week ago: This blind guy was just going his merry way (well, okay, it wasn't quite that merry, it was really busy and he seemed a bit disoriented), and this charitable hero--who, to be fair, probably really wanted to help--started dragging the guy along *by his cane*. Now I've observed a lot of pushing and grabbing and shoving, but that I'd never seen. What really surprised and somewhat impressed me was how kind the "victim" was about all this: He let the guy get away with it, and when I walked up beside him and offered sighted guide, he actually said "Thank you, that would be a lot better." Now by that time I'd probably have been saying: "Well anything to no longer have to put up with this moron here..." Just kidding. Seriously though, what I mean is that I would have completely understood it had the guy gotten irriated with the guy dragging him along by his cane. Of course it's true that the sighted guy only tried to be helpful, but it can be really irritating. The fact that the blind guy was actually nice about it is all to his credit as a person.
Being dragged by the cane? I've herd of tha t one, but I don't think it's ever happened to me either.
Ewww Susanne, if I was his blind guy ... I would kindly inform the sighted guy that I prefer to be guided in another way and that I did not ask for help. This is horrible!!! I mean of course he wanted to help, but still ...